


Zero Hour Nine A.M

by HYPERFocused



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Challenge Response, Episode Related, Fear, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 15:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1554842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HYPERFocused/pseuds/HYPERFocused
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Rodney McKay watched John Sheppard die was the longest 38 minutes of his life. John's beautiful neck marred by a life-sucking giant leech thing that by all rights should have been seen on some Sci Fi channel movie of the week, not in real life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zero Hour Nine A.M

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Entry 1 I made in the [](http://atlantis-lvw.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://atlantis-lvw.livejournal.com/)**atlantis_lvw** contest.  
> 

The first time Rodney McKay watched John Sheppard die was the longest 38 minutes of his life. John's beautiful neck marred by a life-sucking giant leech thing that by all rights should have been seen on some Sci Fi channel movie of the week, not in real life. Rodney had rarely felt so powerless then. He felt ill equipped to cope with the crisis, but was surprised to find he could do what he had to do. If it had been him affected by the Wraith bug, Rodney knew he wouldn't have held up to the test. Even then, before they had given in to the connection they both felt, Rodney would do anything for John.

They became lovers not long after. As soon as Carson gave John the all clear to leave the infirmary. Rodney promised to keep an eye on him, just in case. By the time John's voice was back to normal, and the marks on his neck had subsided from angry red to faded yellow, it was Rodney who was marked instead.

He didn't mind. John was just as passionate as Rodney had anticipated. Sucking kisses into Rodney's neck as he stroked Rodney off. Moaning until his voice was rough again as Rodney swallowed him down. And when he was fully recovered, begging Rodney to fuck him. It was even better than Rodney would have believed.

The second time he watched John die, Rodney told himself he could never do that again -- which was stupid, really, because how many times could one person die? Well, several, if one had access to a Go'a'uld sarcophagus -- which they didn't. That was a mixed blessing, because Rodney didn't even want to imagine a John changed by repeated use of such a device. He'd only heard stories of the way it -- to use an unavoidable pun -- deadened you inside. He didn't want to witness it in person. On the other hand, if they were to find some Ancient healing device with similar properties (except for the soul sucking addictive parts), he'd be fine with that. He would be even happier if the Wraith would just go the  
fuck away.

To Rodney's great relief, Major Sheppard had only almost very nearly died. Dumb luck in the form of a ship called The Daedelus had appeared and rescued him in the nick of time. It hadn't been in time for Rodney to avoid cursing the day he met the man, or at least the day he met John's indestructible libido. John's all too human heart had absolutely nothing to do with it. Nothing at all. Really.

"So long, Rodney." What the fuck did that mean? Of course John couldn't say something that would give the game away, let everyone know what they meant to each other. But surely he could have found something more meaningful. Even "Be careful Rodney" would do it. But then again, John knew Rodney was careful. At least as careful as he could be considering he was faced with almost certain death on a very regular basis.

It dawned on him then, how different his life was now from what he had expected it to be. With his genius, he always knew he would be making important contributions to the world's knowledge and advancement. But despite the CIA, and others who had tried to recruit him for less noble purposes, his work had never had such immediate, real life repercussions.

Now, people live, and, he's ashamed to say, sometimes die because of him. Never has his intellect and ability been put to such strenuous testing. Everything he does matters. Not for the possible prizes and accolades he'll win, but because getting it right means Atlantis is safe through another crisis, getting it wrong can mean the destruction of most of a solar system. It isn't just experimenting anymore. Life on Atlantis was like constantly having to choose the "red wire or the black" like someone in an adventure movie facing a bomb.

While he'd much prefer not to be on the edge of terror all the time, there's a part of Rodney that enjoys the rush that comes when things go well and the Atlantis expedition reaps the rewards. Immediate practical application beats the hell out of "pure research."

Before John, Rodney's love life could best have been described as 'pure research' as well. Mostly theoretical -- he'd had sex, but not as often as he would have liked -- Rodney couldn't say he had been loved before. Certainly he'd never expected to find it with someone like John. Men were fun, but when and if Rodney settled down, it would be with a woman. It was vitally important to the world that the McKay genes be passed on to the future. Someday Rodney was going to die, and his brilliant son or daughter would continue on his path. He really didn't think of it in more personal terms than that. Rodney knew he wasn't so good with people.

But he's good with John. Or rather, John doesn't mind the way Rodney is with him. John has his own quirks, and Rodney is just fine with them, as well. They spark together, but then burn steadily. It isn't a devouring blaze, but a sustaining one. A fire that chases away the shadows as best as it can.

Rodney isn't usually one for introspection. He knew himself, or thought he did. Rodney McKay was smarter than everyone else on Earth, or near enough. He was someone who lived a life of the mind, not the body. His body was too likely to betray him, with allergies or just general mediocrity.

But the Rodney he thought he knew wasn't the man he turned out to be. The case of mistaken identity was his own.


End file.
